Debra L. Rubin, Esq.

Grey Divorce is a term used to reference couples divorcing after the age of 50.  It’s a growing phenomenon.  Currently, grey divorces make up a quarter of all divorces.  Some of the key factors contributing to the increase in divorce among this demographic are longer life expectancies, changing attitudes towards divorce, increased financial independence and empty nest syndrome. As you may imagine, the longer a couple is married the more there is to divide and consider as their relationship comes to an end.  Older couples tend to have more assets such as real estate, retirement plans, pensions, and social security benefits.  Dividing these assets and supporting two households can become complicated, especially if there was [...]

Your marriage isn’t working out.  You and your spouse are fighting, you have grown apart, you may even be sleeping in separate rooms, or even separate homes. So now what? For many people their initial reaction is “let’s get a divorce”; and while in some cases that may be the best solution, it is not your only option. Besides a divorce couples may consider a legal separation. However, while it sounds simple, there is still a legal process involved. Your decision to pursue a legal separation still involves resolving issues of custody, support and division of assets – all the things that you would encounter if you divorced – the difference is a divorce actually [...]

School’s out for summer and you want to take your kids on a fun, memorable vacation.  Traveling inside the U.S. isn’t typically an issue, but what if you want to take an international trip and you are divorced or going through a divorce? The general answer is yes, you can take your child(ren) abroad; however, there are several very important pieces that need to be in place and several scenarios that could be looked at. First things first – your child cannot leave the country without the written consent of your spouse or ex. You will also need both parents to sign passport applications for your child(ren).  Without this, your child cannot leave the country. [...]

Substance abuse, whether it be drugs or alcohol, can affect whether a parent is able to gain, or retain, custody of their child or children.  If a court determines that a parent’s substance abuse presents a direct risk to a child that parent could be denied physical or legal custody. The challenge, however, is being able to prove the use of drugs and/or alcohol. If you suspect your spouse is misusing drugs or alcohol start to document when it occurs. If you haven’t seen it directly but know others have witnessed the behavior, ask them for proof of your spouse drinking or doing drugs. A DUI or DWI is also evidence of drug or alcohol [...]

There are many surprises along the way when a couple decides to get divorced, but there are also five very important things you should know about getting a divorce so that you are prepared. 1. Don’t Expect to Win Your Divorce Case In a divorce there are no winners.  It may be a hard pill to swallow, but the truth is it is extremely rare for either side to get exactly what they want in a divorce, whether its settled or decided by a Judge.  Before you decide to engage in a full-blown litigation, keep this in mind. 2. Carefully Think Through Any Important Decisions In your divorce you will be faced with life changing [...]

COVID is now part of our daily lives – from what we hear, to what we see, to what we do.  For some families going through the divorce process COVID has become an added source of tension. Arguments about which COVID precautions should be implemented for a child and to what degree, along with whether to have a child vaccinated, have become major sticking points for some couples going through a divorce.   How do families go about resolving these issues? When there is a disagreement about whether to vaccinate a child, a child’s pediatrician can offer valuable guidance.  They can guide parents as to what is best for a child based upon that child’s individual [...]

By Debra L. Rubin The kids are out of school and summer is here, but if this is your first summer as a divorced family, navigating vacations can be tricky. Whenever possible, it is best to approach any situation between you and your ex with an open line of communication and a mutual respect for each other’s time with your children. If you are taking the kids on a vacation, you should provide your ex with your itinerary, including dates of travel, and hotel and airline information.  If your ex is taking the kids on a vacation, you should expect the same information as well. Be mindful of what you say and how you act [...]

By Debra L. Rubin Your marriage is over, your divorce is almost finalized, but your social life has moved on and now there is someone new in your life.  Great for you, but a reason to exercise caution around your children. So, when is the right time to introduce a significant other to your children?  There is no exact moment that you can put on a calendar, or a magical number of days you should wait; there are however, some best practices when approaching the situation. If you are romantically involved with a person, and your divorce is not finalized, it is a good idea to keep that romantic relationship out of sight from your [...]

Whether your divorce is simple or complicated, amicable, or contentious – there are four key issues that generally must be addressed. The Children – This is likely one of the most emotionally complicated aspects of a divorce. Custody and parenting time are not as simple as dividing up the week. Parents must consider things such who holds the decision-making authority for the children. Do both parents have to agree on everything?  Does one parent have the decision-making authority?  Or does one parent make the final decision in some areas (for example medical), while the other parent makes the final decision in other areas (for example education)?  It also must be determined where the children live.   [...]

Co-parenting in the most amicable of divorces poses challenges; now consider parents who don’t see eye-to-eye on essential aspects of their child(ren)s lives, and the challenges become harder to overcome. Today, our country stands divided on whether to get the COVID-19 vaccine once it becomes widely available and likewise, parents stand divided on whether or not their children should be vaccinated.  So, what do you do if you and your ex or soon-to-be-ex can’t agree upon certain major aspects of raising and parenting your children? When a couple gets divorced, their child custody arrangements typically include provisions directing things such as residential custody and decision-making authority.  Sometimes the decisions are easy, and sometimes they are [...]

After much consideration, you have decided it is time to end your marriage.  The next steps may seem easy – hire an attorney to handle everything – but that’s not the case.  In fact, preparing for your divorce may take as much time and energy as you put into trying to save your marriage. FINANCIAL DOCUMENTS You will need to gather your tax returns, W2s, bank statements, and retirement account statements. These documents are a critical part of determining your financial future.  Your income, savings, and investments will all be significant when determining spousal and child support and the division of assets. Do you have life insurance, disability insurance, long-term care insurance, or health insurance [...]

During a time when we all need financial support to get through this COVID pandemic, some families find themselves dealing with how to handle their child and spousal support issues as the economic impact of COVID takes its toll.  If you have support arrangements with your ex, or soon-to-be ex, and the spouse paying support is financially impacted by COVID (due to a job loss or business shutdown), it is best to try to make an effort to work things out amicably.    Not only will this help accommodate one another, but it will also prevent more tension for your family during what is already challenging time.  If working things out amongst one another is not an option (perhaps because it is perceived that one spouse is using the pandemic as an excuse to [...]

COVID-19 is causing physical, mental, and emotional stress for all of us.  Now imagine being the victim of domestic violence in your marriage.  Under normal circumstances being in close quarters, dealing with added financial strains, the constant barrage of information from the news and social media, and resorting to increased eating and drinking is a recipe for a very stressful situation.   Dealing with all of these factors as a victim of domestic violence will exacerbate an already volatile situation. Emotionally, victims of domestic violence may feel they have no place to go, now physically they don’t either. Where before they may have had an option to attend a therapy session or go see a friend [...]

Going through a divorce, a separation, a child custody case – whatever the situation may be – you need an advocate; someone on your side who can help you navigate the ins and outs of the law, the courtroom or mediation process, and someone who knows and understands your rights and what you are entitled to. “It takes a village.” Yes, it does, for every aspect of your life, including when you are fighting for your children, your home, and your future. The knowledge and practical experience that a qualified lawyer has cannot be obtained online.  You can do Google searches and you can get “advice” from social media groups where people have been in [...]

Remember growing up and being told “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? While the days of talking face-to-face have been replaced with technology, the same rules apply to social media – especially if you are going through a divorce or separation. Some people feel the need to display their whole life on social media, whether it’s a Facebook post or an Instagram selfie.  Posting the wrong thing, however, could be a costly mistake. Your social media posts can be used against you in your divorce proceeding.  For example, posting pictures of yourself with another man or woman with whom you are romantically involved will, not only inflame the [...]