Divorce Blog Posts

School’s out for summer and you want to take your kids on a fun, memorable vacation.  Traveling inside the U.S. isn’t typically an issue, but what if you want to take an international trip and you are divorced or going through a divorce? The general answer is yes, you can take your child(ren) abroad; however, there are several very important pieces that need to be in place and several scenarios that could be looked at. First things first – your child cannot leave the country without the written consent of your spouse or ex. You will also need both parents to sign passport applications for your child(ren).  Without this, your child cannot leave the country. [...]

When a couple gets divorced or parents that are never married but break up, their child custody agreement dictates who has decision-making authority for things such as education and medical issues. The parents need to follow the terms of their agreement or court may modify it. Of current importance, is a parent’s decision to vaccinate their child(ren), especially as we all face COVID. Recently, in March 2022, the New York State Second Department Appellate Division Court in the case of Matter of Soper v. Soper, changed the medical decision-making of a family’s custody order. In this case, both parents had joint legal custody and medical decision-making was agreed upon to be deferred to the children’s pediatrician.  The mother did not want the [...]

Substance abuse, whether it be drugs or alcohol, can affect whether a parent is able to gain, or retain, custody of their child or children.  If a court determines that a parent’s substance abuse presents a direct risk to a child that parent could be denied physical or legal custody. The challenge, however, is being able to prove the use of drugs and/or alcohol. If you suspect your spouse is misusing drugs or alcohol start to document when it occurs. If you haven’t seen it directly but know others have witnessed the behavior, ask them for proof of your spouse drinking or doing drugs. A DUI or DWI is also evidence of drug or alcohol [...]

For some parents, collecting child support is not an issue, for others they need to chase after the other parent to make sure payments are made and that they are made on time. As a custodial parent or guardian, you can collect child support from the child support collection unit (CSCU) from New York State. CSCU acts as the middleman by collecting the payment and then processing the payment to you. Only the parent who was awarded the child support can set up this account but setting it up is not mandatory.  It’s a simple process, though, if you choose to do so.  To set up the account you will need to provide some personal information, the bank account in which the [...]

There are many surprises along the way when a couple decides to get divorced, but there are also five very important things you should know about getting a divorce so that you are prepared. 1. Don’t Expect to Win Your Divorce Case In a divorce there are no winners.  It may be a hard pill to swallow, but the truth is it is extremely rare for either side to get exactly what they want in a divorce, whether its settled or decided by a Judge.  Before you decide to engage in a full-blown litigation, keep this in mind. 2. Carefully Think Through Any Important Decisions In your divorce you will be faced with life changing [...]

We are heading into the Holiday Season – Thanksgiving, Chanukah and Christmas are just weeks away. And yes, there are presents and parties, but there is also an enormous amount of stress for families going through a divorce, or already divorced or separated.  There are ways, however, to make it less stressful. If you have your children for one or all of the holidays, make sure you share your plans with your ex. Where you are going, when you are going, hotel and flight information. Don’t let your feeling about your ex interfere with your children. Keep those feelings to yourself.  Don’t use your holiday time with your children to vent. That’s not a present [...]

COVID is now part of our daily lives – from what we hear, to what we see, to what we do.  For some families going through the divorce process COVID has become an added source of tension. Arguments about which COVID precautions should be implemented for a child and to what degree, along with whether to have a child vaccinated, have become major sticking points for some couples going through a divorce.   How do families go about resolving these issues? When there is a disagreement about whether to vaccinate a child, a child’s pediatrician can offer valuable guidance.  They can guide parents as to what is best for a child based upon that child’s individual [...]

While we don’t want to admit it, the kids will be heading back to school sooner rather than later. As parents we want to make sure our children have a great experience, both at school and at home, but as a divorced family there may be some extra boxes to check off on that back-to-school list. Both parents should be involved in their child(ren)s education.  Both should have equal access to electronic documents, such as start and end times, bus schedules, class schedules, teacher contact information and report cards.  Don’t rely on your ex to provide this information to you or communicate on your behalf.  Make sure you are proactive and get this information ahead [...]

By Debra L. Rubin The kids are out of school and summer is here, but if this is your first summer as a divorced family, navigating vacations can be tricky. Whenever possible, it is best to approach any situation between you and your ex with an open line of communication and a mutual respect for each other’s time with your children. If you are taking the kids on a vacation, you should provide your ex with your itinerary, including dates of travel, and hotel and airline information.  If your ex is taking the kids on a vacation, you should expect the same information as well. Be mindful of what you say and how you act [...]

By Gayle Rosenblum Custody arrangements can truly be stress-free if the lines of communication between both parents are kept open. Here are some tips to keep your summer smooth and stress-free: It is important to plan ahead. Talk to your ex about your plans and their plans this summer for the child(ren) in advance.  If there are conflicts, suggest solutions.  Be mindful of occasions and commitments that may need to take precedent, such as holidays, birthdays, vacations, day trips, camp and sports. Do not wait until the last minute. Not only do you have to be mindful of each of your schedules but the availability of the activities that you wish to enroll your children [...]

By Debra L. Rubin Your marriage is over, your divorce is almost finalized, but your social life has moved on and now there is someone new in your life.  Great for you, but a reason to exercise caution around your children. So, when is the right time to introduce a significant other to your children?  There is no exact moment that you can put on a calendar, or a magical number of days you should wait; there are however, some best practices when approaching the situation. If you are romantically involved with a person, and your divorce is not finalized, it is a good idea to keep that romantic relationship out of sight from your [...]

On March 31, Governor Andrew Cuomo signed legislation (S.854-A/A.128-A) legalizing recreational marijuana use in New York State.  It is now legal for adults 21 years and older to smoke, ingest or consume cannabis products, or give them to other people of the same legal age, with certain restrictions on quantities.  The bill also allows for up to five pounds of cannabis to be stored in a home if it is securely stored away from children. The legalization of marijuana comes with strict guidelines, just as the sale and use of tobacco and alcohol. The use of recreational marijuana, when around children, should be treated with the same regard as alcohol and cigarettes. Parents must use appropriate judgment [...]

Getting a divorce is not easy for anyone, especially children. Parents sometimes tend to get wrapped up in their own emotions as they work through the divorce process and neglect how their children are feeling. The stress of a divorce will impact each child differently depending on their family situation, their age, and their personality - but in the end, parents need to remember that they are adults and need to act appropriately around their children. Even though you and your spouse are going your separate ways, you need to maintain a united front to help your children through this difficult time. Children should not be punished for decisions that you and/or your spouse [...]

Getting a divorce isn’t as simple as two people saying “our marriage is over”.  There are multiple layers to a divorce, many of which most people don’t consider or understand. So, what do you need to know as you plan to end your marriage? Locate your assets and what will be divided. Get all of your financial documents in order. Find the deed to your home. Create a list of all shared debt and credit cards. Determine your custody goals. Be prepared for things to take time, divorce proceedings could take months depending on the situation. While this all may seem overwhelming, that is what we are here for.  We will help you navigate everything [...]

Whether your divorce is simple or complicated, amicable, or contentious – there are four key issues that generally must be addressed. The Children – This is likely one of the most emotionally complicated aspects of a divorce. Custody and parenting time are not as simple as dividing up the week. Parents must consider things such who holds the decision-making authority for the children. Do both parents have to agree on everything?  Does one parent have the decision-making authority?  Or does one parent make the final decision in some areas (for example medical), while the other parent makes the final decision in other areas (for example education)?  It also must be determined where the children live.   [...]