Divorce Blog Posts

By Debra L. Rubin The kids are out of school and summer is here, but if this is your first summer as a divorced family, navigating vacations can be tricky. Whenever possible, it is best to approach any situation between you and your ex with an open line of communication and a mutual respect for each other’s time with your children. If you are taking the kids on a vacation, you should provide your ex with your itinerary, including dates of travel, and hotel and airline information.  If your ex is taking the kids on a vacation, you should expect the same information as well. Be mindful of what you say and how you act [...]

By Gayle Rosenblum Custody arrangements can truly be stress-free if the lines of communication between both parents are kept open. Here are some tips to keep your summer smooth and stress-free: It is important to plan ahead. Talk to your ex about your plans and their plans this summer for the child(ren) in advance.  If there are conflicts, suggest solutions.  Be mindful of occasions and commitments that may need to take precedent, such as holidays, birthdays, vacations, day trips, camp and sports. Do not wait until the last minute. Not only do you have to be mindful of each of your schedules but the availability of the activities that you wish to enroll your children [...]

By Debra L. Rubin Your marriage is over, your divorce is almost finalized, but your social life has moved on and now there is someone new in your life.  Great for you, but a reason to exercise caution around your children. So, when is the right time to introduce a significant other to your children?  There is no exact moment that you can put on a calendar, or a magical number of days you should wait; there are however, some best practices when approaching the situation. If you are romantically involved with a person, and your divorce is not finalized, it is a good idea to keep that romantic relationship out of sight from your [...]

On March 31, Governor Andrew Cuomo signed legislation (S.854-A/A.128-A) legalizing recreational marijuana use in New York State.  It is now legal for adults 21 years and older to smoke, ingest or consume cannabis products, or give them to other people of the same legal age, with certain restrictions on quantities.  The bill also allows for up to five pounds of cannabis to be stored in a home if it is securely stored away from children. The legalization of marijuana comes with strict guidelines, just as the sale and use of tobacco and alcohol. The use of recreational marijuana, when around children, should be treated with the same regard as alcohol and cigarettes. Parents must use appropriate judgment [...]

Getting a divorce is not easy for anyone, especially children. Parents sometimes tend to get wrapped up in their own emotions as they work through the divorce process and neglect how their children are feeling. The stress of a divorce will impact each child differently depending on their family situation, their age, and their personality - but in the end, parents need to remember that they are adults and need to act appropriately around their children. Even though you and your spouse are going your separate ways, you need to maintain a united front to help your children through this difficult time. Children should not be punished for decisions that you and/or your spouse [...]

Getting a divorce isn’t as simple as two people saying “our marriage is over”.  There are multiple layers to a divorce, many of which most people don’t consider or understand. So, what do you need to know as you plan to end your marriage? Locate your assets and what will be divided. Get all of your financial documents in order. Find the deed to your home. Create a list of all shared debt and credit cards. Determine your custody goals. Be prepared for things to take time, divorce proceedings could take months depending on the situation. While this all may seem overwhelming, that is what we are here for.  We will help you navigate everything [...]

Whether your divorce is simple or complicated, amicable, or contentious – there are four key issues that generally must be addressed. The Children – This is likely one of the most emotionally complicated aspects of a divorce. Custody and parenting time are not as simple as dividing up the week. Parents must consider things such who holds the decision-making authority for the children. Do both parents have to agree on everything?  Does one parent have the decision-making authority?  Or does one parent make the final decision in some areas (for example medical), while the other parent makes the final decision in other areas (for example education)?  It also must be determined where the children live.   [...]

Co-parenting in the most amicable of divorces poses challenges; now consider parents who don’t see eye-to-eye on essential aspects of their child(ren)s lives, and the challenges become harder to overcome. Today, our country stands divided on whether to get the COVID-19 vaccine once it becomes widely available and likewise, parents stand divided on whether or not their children should be vaccinated.  So, what do you do if you and your ex or soon-to-be-ex can’t agree upon certain major aspects of raising and parenting your children? When a couple gets divorced, their child custody arrangements typically include provisions directing things such as residential custody and decision-making authority.  Sometimes the decisions are easy, and sometimes they are [...]

When the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve, none of us could have imagined the world we were about to be thrown into just a mere two months later.  In the beginning, no one knew how to handle working from home with children. This was the unimaginable. The unthinkable. At the same time, if you work on the front lines, then you have to be conscious about being around your children, and other loved ones, even your ex or soon to be ex-spouse. As all of us are adapting to the new “norm,” we need to open minded and respectful, more than ever, of each other. Think outside of the box. Not what would otherwise [...]

  Divorce, it can be devastating for a family.  Battling it out in court can make things even more difficult. Sometimes there is no option but to litigate, however, for others mediation may be an option. Mediation takes two. It’s voluntary, and it only works if both sides are willing to participate.  Each party must go in with realistic expectations regarding things such as custody, visitation, property division, living arrangements, and other financial obligations.  Mediation is guided by the two parties and their specific needs and can allow them to reach settlements that would otherwise not be attainable in court. Mediation could take an hour, or it could take a month or longer depending on [...]

After much consideration, you have decided it is time to end your marriage.  The next steps may seem easy – hire an attorney to handle everything – but that’s not the case.  In fact, preparing for your divorce may take as much time and energy as you put into trying to save your marriage. FINANCIAL DOCUMENTS You will need to gather your tax returns, W2s, bank statements, and retirement account statements. These documents are a critical part of determining your financial future.  Your income, savings, and investments will all be significant when determining spousal and child support and the division of assets. Do you have life insurance, disability insurance, long-term care insurance, or health insurance [...]

Divorce, for many, is the easy way out of a marriage that is in despair.  Sometimes couples are so wrapped up in the heat of the moment that they can’t see possible opportunities that may help address underlying issues and prevent them from filing for a divorce. Therapy and marriage counseling is a great place to start to work through any issues you may be experiencing. You’ll be engaging a third party, in a neutral space and be able to discuss freely and without judgment what’s going on in your lives. But this has to be a joint effort.  If both spouses aren’t willing to try this approach – whether it be individual therapy or [...]

During a time when we all need financial support to get through this COVID pandemic, some families find themselves dealing with how to handle their child and spousal support issues as the economic impact of COVID takes its toll.  If you have support arrangements with your ex, or soon-to-be ex, and the spouse paying support is financially impacted by COVID (due to a job loss or business shutdown), it is best to try to make an effort to work things out amicably.    Not only will this help accommodate one another, but it will also prevent more tension for your family during what is already challenging time.  If working things out amongst one another is not an option (perhaps because it is perceived that one spouse is using the pandemic as an excuse to [...]

For nearly three months most of us have been confined to our homes. Learning the new rules of social distancing, wearing a mask, and engaging in virtual everything.  For some, these were just new ways of life to get used to; but for others, this virus took on a whole new life of co-parenting and sharing custody. If you or your ex are in a position where exposure is possible, then making sure you aren’t putting your children at risk is a conversation you need to have. Rather than escalate an already stressful situation, be amicable and come up with ways to keep your custody agreement intact while protecting the health and safety of everyone [...]

COVID-19 is causing physical, mental, and emotional stress for all of us.  Now imagine being the victim of domestic violence in your marriage.  Under normal circumstances being in close quarters, dealing with added financial strains, the constant barrage of information from the news and social media, and resorting to increased eating and drinking is a recipe for a very stressful situation.   Dealing with all of these factors as a victim of domestic violence will exacerbate an already volatile situation. Emotionally, victims of domestic violence may feel they have no place to go, now physically they don’t either. Where before they may have had an option to attend a therapy session or go see a friend [...]